Monthly Archives: February 2010

Once Upon a “Holi” Day

It was a day before Holi when my boys were born. No one at that point of time knew what the output will be, if they will make it or not. I don’t know what that day was like weather wise. I was in that hospital room for more than a week confined to the bed. But it was a sunny day for me. I had no doubt about the boys making it, for me toughest part was to be separated from them right after they were born. From that Holi till now we have come a very very long way. From that Holi to this, I have witnessed a miracle called life every day.

I saw my boys on Holi 2008. We did not play with colors that day, but they gave my soul a rainbow of colors. From that day onwards, every day I have learnt something new from my boys. When my boys were born they could not do what every new born does and every parent takes for granted. They were not equipped to live outside the womb. They did not know how to breathe or feed. However, they learnt. They took tiny preemie steps and slowly they learnt to breathe without those machines and to feed on their own. Yes, it did take them three whole months to learn to do all those things one by one and then all of them together. Yes, they had to breathe and feed at the same time and maintain body temperature before the doctors could let them come home. I sometimes wish I had a journal on how they learnt every small step, but those days I was busy pumping milk for them and just sitting by their side and praying.  I do not think I had time for anything else. They learnt like very good students and came out with excellence. No for us it was not easy, but our boys taught us patience, they taught us to trust the almighty with all that we have and leave things upon him. They taught us to let go. Things I never ever did in all the 30 plus years I have been living. Patience was never my virtue; I was a very very stubborn Taurean. However, my boys changed all that and more.

The doctors told us a whole lot about preemie parenting, but there are something in this world which cannot be taught. We have to go through the experience and learn for ourselves. The doctors monitored every milestone very closely. Slowly the boys grabbed, rolled, crawled, cruised and then walked. When I look at my brats running around my house today, breaking things, pulling drapes, banging utensils, those days seem to be a distant past. Thank God for all the little miracles.

As the doctors warned, preemie parenting does not come without its own set of challenges. For us it was feeding and weight gain. Every preemie follows their own pattern of growth and reaches their milestones at their own pace. Some preemies do not have any delays, some do. My boys stayed within the range for all their gross, fine and social skills but they refused to eat and gain weight. Feeding time became nightmares and to top it all they had reflux. They threw up after most feedings. I learnt new techniques of feeding from the doctors, internet and friends. If anyone had a suggestion, I was willing to try it out. Medicines came in, homeopathic, regular, everything. Nothing worked. Vomits happened after almost all feedings, and stained our carpets, furniture, walls. They were not little spit ups. They were huge vomits where everything that went in came gushing out. I finally met a GI specialist, who explained the whole preemie reflux issue to me. All he asked was to wait for the boys to outgrow it. They have outgrown most part of the reflux. They do not throw up their feedings any more, but Junior is still on to mashed food. He hates anything that has textures. Slowly, very very slowly we eased him into Khichdi. We are letting him take him own time to start accepting textures. Yes, I finally have learnt to be patient.  

Holi 2008, is a part of the past and this Holi, we want to play Holi the way it is meant to be played. Since they are half Bihari, Holi also means that it’s a New Year and I wish my boys a very Happy Beginning to toddlerhood.  

Here is a song for them from me. I hope they live life King-size and never stop being the superstars that they are. I hope amongst all other milestones, they learn one small little thing. They learn to dream and to enjoy every small moment in life. This life did not come easy to them; I hope they enjoy it as much as they can. They deserve it and a lot more.

Post Surgery

I have wanted to write about our journey post surgery but I have been too lazy to blog lately. The boys are more than a handful and they take up most of my time and energy. But mostly it is plain simple laziness I guess.

Our post surgery journey has been more or less uneventful. There was this one incidence where Junior picked up the remote and hit it on Bumbum’s head, thankfully my hand came in-between and took most of the hit. It did give us a mini heart attack expecting the worst, but thankfully, it turned out to be nothing.  Apart from that, the journey has been smooth. We have done the best we could to keep a toddler (an over active one too) from falling as much as we could. He did have some minor falls here and there but nothing major or anything where his head was involved.

Post surgery, the head has rounded up well, but we still have some swelling around his eyes. The swelling did take a lot of time to go away and our doctor told us that sometimes it even takes as long as 6 months or more for it to completely go away. Bumbum still has some minor swelling around his left eye. Another thing are the plates. Bumbum has dissolving plates in his skull now, but we can feel them when we touch. This again according to the doctors is very common. Feeling the plates is very daunting for me, it just keeps on reminding me of his surgery. However, since it takes over a year for the plates to melt away I guess I have to live with this for now.

Post surgery we had monthly checkups, 2 with his plastic surgeon and one with the neurosurgeon. All these appointments were roughly 10 minutes each where they just felt his head saw the stitches and that was it. The funny part is we drive from NJ to NY an hour each way for these 10 min appointments.

I wish we had taken in more pictures post surgery to put up here, but during the days when Bumbum had his surgery, I just did not want to click pictures. Here are a few pre and post surgery pictures.

This is at 5 months, when we had first consulted a doctor about his forehead shape:

Then around one year actual (9 months corrected) we have Bumbum looking like this:

Just before being discharged from the hospital post surgery

One month post surgery (Jan 2010) His eyes are all swollen up still ..

 

 Two months post surgery (Feb 2010) on our way back from the last doctors appointment

We have come a long way 🙂 And yes I am smiling after all the drama .. It’s the same me who fainted when they took Bumbum in for the surgery. Time IS the biggest healer and Bumbum does look so much better now.

He is a very brave little man ..

Love and Terror

I actually was planning on writing about V day, love and all that jazz. But then when I woke up today morning, planning on ways to celebrate the day, I turned the TV on and heard about the blast that rocked Koregaon Park in Pune. Even though we have gotten so used to the blasts and to the violence, this piece of news really shook me up to the chore. 

Pune has been a city extremely close to my heart. When I had nowhere else to go, when the whole world marked me as a failure, this city accepted me with open arms and loved me for what I am. I rented my first apartment in this city and learnt to live on my own. This city has given me more than I could have ever asked for. This city is the one I love most and when there was a blast ripping it apart, my heart bled. I was angry and fuming mainly because this city never had anything to do with any controversy. It was an extremely innocent city with lazy afternoons and loving hearts. With incidents like this cities and people lose their faith and innocence. I don’t know if any neighbor will welcome a strange girl with as much warmth as I received, buying a FM radio for that girl because she got bored on Sunday afternoons, or sharing their morning Kanda Poha with her as if she was a part of their family. Pune has given me a lot and more and today I cry for her with her.

There is so much hatered around in the world that it scares me as a mother. My children will grow up in a world where terror has become a common word. It scares me to even think about what tomorrow will bring for the world and its children. Religion has suddenly become a power game and a reason to die and kill for. It has become a very dangerous game.

I hope for the sake of all mothers around the world, that we give peace a chance. No mother, from any religion or any color or any country should lose their child to violence and hatred. That I think will make God ( who is the mother Goddess in my religion) very happy I believe.