We thought we are brave, we thought we are prepared, we thought we knew it all. We woke Bumbum up early in the morning and took him to the hospital telling him to be a strong boy. I think he listened to us and he was strong. He did throw a fit as expected when the doctors tried to dress him up for the surgery and did his vitals, but the moment he went to D’s lap he was happy all over again. He thought that he would be going to have fun while D took him to the OT for them to put him under anesthesia. He was smiling as I hugged him and wished him a speedy recovery. My heart broke seeing him go to that OT. D came back after what seemed ages. ( In reality he was in there for 15 minutes). After he came back and I reached to hug him I saw his eyes were all red and I could say he was crying. That was it for me. He for all my growing up years has been my rock, my pillar. When I saw those tears in his eyes I broke down like a baby. I cried and cried and cried till… till I actually fainted. Some one picked me up gave me water and I was back in a jiffy but I was still crying. Another person came to me to talk to me about how strong I have to be for my baby. Yes ma’am, I know that speech too. I can give it better than you to someone else. But it was my baby they took inside to open his head up!! A part of me was being ripped out and stitched up in that OT and I had to be strong and smile and greet people.
But D just took me out of that place and just held on to me while I calmed down slowly. Accepted what was happening and prepared ourselves for what we were going to see. After what seemed like ages the NS came out (reality: 2 hours, but that IS a long time). He said that Bumbum was doing well, the first part of the surgery had gone very well and he was extremely happy. That calmed us down further. We were comforted to know that Bumbum did not lose much blood and did not get a blood transfusion. Now the wait was for the plastic surgeon to come and tell us that the surgery is done and give my baby back in my arms (I really hoped that I will get to hold him). Again the clock refused to move fast enough. We had made a million calls to D’s family back in India to just keep ourselves from crying more. It was such a relief to talk to his sister. She really gives me a lot of strength at times.
Finally Bumbum was out of the OT and in the ICU after a whole 5 hours. When I saw him I ignored the bandages, I ignored the wires on him, I was just so happy to see my baby again. His head was in a huge white turban. I sometimes call him Cookie Singh jokingly, now he did look like Cookie Singh J The vitals looked great. We were used to those machines from the NICU. So we knew that he was doing good. He did not seem to be in much pain. Tons of doctors came, NS residents, Cosmetic surgeon residents, ICU doctors, attending physicians, nurses, head nurses, security guy ( no clue why he came though!). Everyone more or less told us the same story about the surgery. All the time they talked I just held on to Bumbum’s finger. I don’t think I have words to explain how I felt at that moment. He was with me and that was what mattered at that time. I knew he would do great; it would be me who did not have the guts. He is the superhero anyways.
The first night was rough, as the anesthesia wore off, I guess the discomfort started. He tossed and turned and at one point even tried to crawl and stand. The morphine did not have the expected effect of keeping him knocked out. He moved, tossed and turned and we gave him more morphine. As the night passed his eyes were swollen shut as expected. That made him more mad and upset. We had our own issues with the nurses and the resident doctors, but at this moment all those do not matter at all. I could have stayed in NJ and had this surgery, but I came here because I had heard great things about this hospital. Well !! every place has its good and bad and I guess I will wait till the whole stay is over before I make any remarks on this whole experience.
Last night we just kept staring at Bumbum, trying to calm him down with his favorite lullaby. He reacted well to our voices. Today he has been a little better with the pain. He has slept better than last night. He has been very calm. We were moved from the ICU to the general floor. Again the nurses seem to be very unresponsive. But I will again wait for the whole stay to be over before I make any comment on this. We are sharing our room with another patient. What surprises me is that even when they see that there is a baby who is cranky at loud noises, how insensitive people can be. I have to make repeated requests to keep in down. The TV is loud; they have too many guests who just could not keep it down.
A little compassion for others can make this world a different place.