This was New Years Eve 2007. While we ushered in 2008 I had no clue what it had to offer.
Both D and I were super excited to be first time parents. We did everything right. Ate right …Took enough rest … no stress … but something was missing.
We came to know that we were going to have twins around November and boy!! Were we thrilled? We took extra care. We went in for the bimonthly U/S. They were exciting because we could see the boys. Yes we knew that they were boys.
Everything went great … well kind of great. I was having bad morning sickness which lasted the whole day. I was throwing up all over the house. We kept on telling my Ob-GYN but everyone thought that this was normal with twins. May be it was.
Then March came. We were waiting for spring so that we could have the baby shower and also start shopping for the boys. We were counting the weeks and keeping track of the progress that the boys made inside me. I was almost getting close to my 28th week. My Ob GYN did say that I could go into early labor. So we were hoping something close to 36 …may be 37. We didn’t know that God smiled somewhere. Junior started kicking hard. We loved it.
God smiled even more. He had plans. Plans no one was aware of. Junior was not growing enough… he was small but the docs said all was well. We planned to get the house cleaned before I got bigger. The boys were coming, we needed a cleaner place. We checked in into a local hotel and I wanted to sleep. In-between when I woke up to use the rest room I thought I saw some discharge which did not look right. Oh!! I was half asleep… everything’s ok. God must have smiled again. His plans were almost in action.
I still went with my instinct (mother’s instinct??) and called in LnD to get my self checked. … After what seemed like craziness around me …some one said the words “DKA”.. I heard decay!! Am I decaying? I tried laughing it off.
Then I saw some very worried faces all around me. Some people came in with more needles and took more blood. What? I need to go home and rest. Some one said I should stay in that night. Oh well… anyways we were sleeping in the hotel. Here they will take better care. Before I realized they moved me to the MICU.
What’s a MICU ? Medical ICU some one said. Why do I need an ICU? Because I have DKA … Decay? No… Very high sugar…
Sugar? Diabetes? me? When? My head was spinning by now. What happens to Junior and Bumbum ? No one talked about them. Some people said my sugar was nearing 500. Oh!! What is the normal range? I did not know. D moved around me with a funny face. He was trying to be strong. I could see that he had some concerns. What is it I wondered? What is decay? Why do they keep talking about it?
I wanted to get some sleep. My boys were used to a schedule. They would be up at 5 am wanting the usual oatmeal snack. The boys didn’t move much. They kind of huddled together and moved to my right side. We three wanted to sleep. But that was not happening for the next 4 days.
Tests happened around the clock. More blood was taken. More doctors came in. I asked about my boys, everyone talked about decay. D laughed and said the boys will be good. Will be? They are good. I was a little scared by now. Because they missed their snack… they missed the sound of home. I could say that they were scared.
Then amongst all the confusion came the morning of March 20. I was not able to sleep well that night. I thought it was acid reflux. But then it was a new beginning of a new journey. Life as we knew so far was over in a few minutes. My water broke. I thought the boys are so small… we all prayed hard. Doctors now started to talk about the boys.
Finally, I thought. Now they will take care of my pregnancy. I was moved to a nicer room and I slept. I slept after 3 nights. Oh and 3 days too!! Suddenly amongst all confusion, I started having gas pains. Gain Pains? Wait the nurse wanted to check. No my boys are fine. Let them stay in. This is gas pain.
My denial did not matter at that point and I was rushed in for delivery. God smiled and gave us all his love and blessings because the ride ahead was not going to be easy.
Bumbum and Junior were born. Tiny… that’s what I could make out. No one let me hold them. I could very briefly kiss Bumbum. But where are they taking them? The words did not come out because I did not have the energy for it. I was taken to the recovery room. I cried the night out in pain, pain from the delivery and from being torn apart so suddenly from my boys. They would be hungry. Where are they? D got the photos. I saw them for the first time in an Iphone screen. How many moms do that? …. A journey of a different kind started from there.
We learnt terms like NICU, preemie, Brady, Apnea.. And more than may be we ever wanted.. That is a whole new story… But now with all the blessings that God sent our way that night we have made it home. The boys are brats. And they are home and safe and I intend to keep it that way. That night I might have failed in keeping them in me and safe .. But that very night I promised them at their birth that mommy will be there .. making everything as good as she can within her human capacity. If I can give them life I can keep them safe .. was my first thought and with that thought this story started. D and I started our journey as mom and dadda.