Thankful that we are home and safe, but still shaky !!

When I wrote the above post, I thought I will never heal. I could never look beyond the pain that both my baby and me were in at that point. But time, as they say is the  biggest healer. Today it has been two years since we got him home, and he is quite a handful today. If I do not tell anyone, no one will know that he had such a major surgery. I am thankful for that. Like I was said, it is a major surgery with extremely minor side effects. Yes, I was scared and I did not know. But kids heal and the best part is that they do not remember. It is another story that I will never forget that moment when he went in for surgery.

He is 3, going on 13 !!

I am thankful that the boys are now catching up and their delays are slowly disappearing. One thing I am extremely Thankful for is that I have found a great daycare/preschool. After many changes, I finally found the place which suits us the best. The teachers are awesome, and the boys are happy and comfortable there. After the boys aged out of the Early Intervention Program I was extremely worried. I was not sure if I should send them to the special pre-school program, or keep them in the school that they were already going to. They were definitely behind their classmates in many ways. I just took the leap of faith and decided to go with my gut to not change their school. It was one of those decisions which could have gone either way. The fact that BB does not take change very well was one of the key factors. He got settled in this school after a lot of effort, a new school would throw everything off and we would need to start all over again. I did not want BB to go through that again. Plus the fact that I was told that they will not qualify added strength to my decision.

The teachers tried their best, I spoke up whenever I had any concerns and the centre director was most accommodating to all our requests. She went above and beyond to help the boys catch up. Junior had issues with feeding, and slowly and steadily they worked on encouraging him to chew. And he did cooperate. Today he eats almost everything. The other day, the centre director said how amazed she was seeing Junior eat a whole slice of a pizza. It did take a lot of time and patience to reach where we are, but what matters is that we are here. The boys started using words and then making sentences. It was an amazing journey, to see them bloom. It is tough to find good teachers, and I am blessed to have two of them who make an awesome team. I am extremely Thankful for Miss. J and Miss. M. The boys will grow up and go places, but this is where their journey started. I hope they remember these two awesome ladies who helped them get started.  It matters, and it matters the most.

My babies were born 13 week before their due date, too early and too small. They survived because they got the right medical support at the right time.  They did not know how to breathe, the basic necessity to live. They were on vent support for more than a month. Before they were born I had no idea what a NICU is. Today, I know the kind of research that goes in, helping these babies live. We were fortunate that our babies were born here and got the right help at the right time. Premature birth comes with its own set of complexities. Babies born too early and too small, run the risk of having neurological disabilities, hearing and eye problems, lung issues, learning disabilities and much more. But fortunately, a lot of research is being done to try and avoid these as much as possible.

My only prayer is that, one day no baby is born before term, that no mother ever loses her baby to premature birth.

I see a lot of campaign going in for Cancer awareness and Autism. But I rarely see something in media both Television and print, about Prematurity. I hope that there is more support for this cause.

Today, if BB and Junior are here with us, doing what they are doing, it is ONLY because of technology, a great team of doctors and nurses and an insane amount of prayers.  I hope that someday these researches reach every part of the world, and every baby is born full term. I hope that one day, every hospital has a NICU.

Here is something a friend of mine posted on her Facebook wall, sums up our feelings during those days very well:

When I first saw you, kid, you were tiny and thin

And slimy and red and your head was mushed in.

I said to your mother, “He looks kind of sloppy,

And two pounds nine ounces ain’t big for a crappie.”

But something about you, the look in your eyes,

Said you fully intended to grow to full size.

They slapped your backside and you let out a cry,

And I said, “We will keep him, at least we shall try.”

Some babies are born in nine months, by the clock.

Some babies are born, and they sit up and talk.

Some babies are born, and no doctor is there.

But some babies come in on a wing and a prayer.

Poor little fetus as big as your hand.

Poor little fish thrown up on dry land.

Who came in mid-May though he had till July,

Too small to live and to precious to die.

They shipped you downstairs to the big Neonatal

Intensive Care Unit’s computerized cradle.

And attached you to wires and stuck you with tubes

Monitored closely by digital cubes.

And thanks to the latest neonatal therapeussis

And regular basting with greases from gooses

And hot chicken soup intravenously fed

You did not fade away, you grew up instead.

We’ll always remember the months that you spent

With tubes in your head in the oxygen tent.

And the mask on your face, the wires attached,

Sweet little baby who was only half hatched.

I’m sure you’ll grow up and mature and extend

To six feet six inches and become a tight end.

But I’ll always remember each doctor and nurse in

The NICU who helped make you a person,

The kid who crash landed, who was carried away,

Who survived it, this bundle we bring home today.

-Garrison Keillor

This is BB, about 2 months after he was born.

( I got the numbers and data from Google and March of Dimes, I also picked up some information and the poem above from my friends wall post in FB)

Before it is too late Here is our Halloween pic for this year. We had a race car driver and a fireman. The boys are very fussy these days about trying out new things. So I was worried about which costume to choose. Finally we picked up something which would just be a simple jacket on whatever they are wearing. Even with that, making Junior wear his costume was nothing less than a nightmare !!!

“Mamma, today only Junior goes to school and BB stays with Mamma” .,.. He topped it off with a huge kiss and a very tight hug.

So yeah, back to the crazy month, there were times when the kids fell
sick and had to stay home, D stayed home with them, keeping them happy and
entertained. I have no clue how or when the food got cooked, the clothes
magically got washed and they boys never even missed a single snack, or meal. I
hope the boys realize that they have the best dad in the whole wide world. A
dad who never pauses for a second if he has to play the mommy role… I hope
they grow up to appreciate this… If D is here … we will be all right

I know I do not tell this to him enough, but I just cannot imagine
a second of life without him in it .. Me or the boys just cannot function
without him … He does not come to my blog very often, may be when he does hewill smile when he reads this post …  This is for you